AFR Transfers

By Eric Beard, writing from Barcelona

Spanish paper MARCA reported today that Chelsea are preparing to place a 59 million euro bid for the Arsenal captain this summer. The article states that Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich believes Barcelona cannot match the wages he is ready to offer Cesc.

This is not going to happen, of course. Let’s get that out of the way. But Arsenal fans, don’t be upset by some Madrid-based banter, this is brilliant news. We all know that there will come a time in Cesc’s career, whether it be this summer or the next, when Spain’s number 10 returns to Catalunya. Competition in the transfer market is never a bad thing is it?

Last summer, with the media buzzing every day about Cesc’s move to his homeland, the bids from the Blaugrana were nothing short of a disgrace. They started with a 29 million euro bid and eventually worked their way up to 40 million euros. If it didn’t appear a completely disgraceful valuation then, it certainly does now after this winter’s transfer window (i.e. Fernando Torres for £50m and Andy Carroll for £35m).

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Despite sitting at the top of the table, winning the Premier League will be a monumental challenge for Chelsea. The defending champions started the season in top form, but after a humiliating 3-0 defeat to Sunderland last weekend, signs of weakness started to show. It’s clear Chelsea lack options in the attacking zone which is ageing and requires strengthening. The ambition to sign AC Milan’s Alexandre Pato appears to have faded away and the club turned their attention to in-form Cardiff City striker Jay Bothroyd.

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By Darshan Joshi, lazing around ‘Arry’s living room

On some days, Santa isn’t a corpulent oaf; he wakes up sometime in towards the end of September, having taken his dieting pills for a period of six months, and suddenly, he’s in mint condition - his innocence untouched, his gut disintegrated into a sheath of abs and he is, all of a sudden, a North London-residing Welsh God. His legs are the talk of ladies’ tea-parties, his updo the talk of the town’s hairdressers who expectedly await customers demanding the Bale-do, his torso the image of a mid-October Santa Claus.

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By Darshan Joshi, writing from Sydney

There are many desks, lined up in a fashion resembling some form of office, just two blocks away from the children’s utopia that is Santa’s workshop (where a chubby old man dressed in red and white doing goodness-knows-what with children on his laps has elves and other mythological creatures slave away in his potentially Nike-esque sweatshop(s) every winter). The transfer rumour factory isn’t really a full factory, though. It only comprises of a piece of space large enough to fit sixteen tables, and seated at these slabs of wood are sixteen men and women (preferably eight of each, for reasons that will soon be insinuated) with quite possibly the most enchanting WiFi connection available – sprinkled golden with pixie dust from the nearby ‘giftshop’ no doubt. The transfer rumour factory is the workshop that keeps on giving.

Eight men, and eight women, with the promise of toddlers to come, exiled in the North Pole, a couple of blocks away from an old man who enjoys the company of younglings, rowdily hammering at their poor keyboards the names of randomly picked players and clubs, performing some kind of (black) magical litany that impresses upon the mind of the managers in question the need to shop like a woman at Jimmy Choo. Each day, us normal people, living our normal lives, pick up on the odd even rumour, and in sometimes, quite literally wet ourselves at the hope that Glen Johnson will indeed move to Juventus or Real Madrid.

Glen Johnson. This is the man who was arrested in 2007 because he attempted an elaborately schemed plan to nick a toilet seat from his local B&Q outlet. Of course, at the time he was only earning £30,000-a-week at a Portsmouth side who would reach an FA Cup final the following year, and so couldn’t possibly afford a ceramic plate structured such that it can hold butts of any size without spillage. No need to fret, Glen, soon, you could be on your way to either Turin, or Madrid, depending on where your Spanish lessons would best abet you. Yes, he is learning a bit of Spanish, and I half expect him to soon walk into a B&Q outlet, run up to the information desk and part with the following sentence: ‘¿Puedo ir al lavabo, por favor?’, at which point he would be escorted to the nearest toilet bereft of a seat, just for security purposes.

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The Red half of Manchester has gone silent. It’s been the transfer rumour of the week, Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney could be joining Real Madrid at the end of the season for a fee worth €70m- €100m (£58m - £83m). The England striker is reported to be unhappy with life in England and after the recent infidelity tabloid stories were published, a move could be imminent. Will Rooney team up with Ronaldo in Madrid or are these reports fake?

The Blackburn Rovers are in discussions with Indian businessman Ahsan Ali Syed, 36, over a proposed £300million takeover pledging at least an £80-100million for new players. Syed believes he could lure the 35-year-old David Beckham, who has not played for an English club since he left Manchester United seven years ago, into joining Rovers by throwing a bit of money around.

“I was 26 when I started following the Premier League. I used to like Blackburn back then and also used to follow Manchester United’s fortunes because of David Beckham. If my finances allow and his intentions are positive then I would love to take Beckham,” Syed told the Daily Mail.

Now let’s take one gigantic step back to tear this rumour apart. Beckham wants to trade Hollywood for Blackburn? A club he has no connection to vs. a club he grew up at liking (West Ham/Manchester United)? Playing for Sam Allardyce who is notorious for grinding out results? And lastly, do you really think Beckham isn’t satisfied with the amount of money he is already making? Sorry lads, this is not going to happen. Try Cantona.

Looking good Diego! I don’t know about you, but I would love this to happen.

Diego Maradona has today admitted he would like to become the new Aston Villa manager. Dozens of names have already been linked with the vacant manager’s position at Villa Park including the likes of Bob Bradley and Sven Goran Eriksson but I’m sure most of you (who aren’t Villa fans, I may add) would prefer to see Maradona get the job.

One of Maradona’s representatives had this to say: “I think Diego would be very open to the idea of coming to England and managing Aston Villa. He is very attracted to English football and the way of life in your country and I know he would be very willing to move there.”

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So Craig Bellamy has today claimed he may quit football if he is not included in Manchester City’s 25-man squad for the new Premier League season.

The Welsh striker has already been heavily linked with a move away from Eastlands with Tottenham and several others believed to be interested but what about a surprise move back to Liverpool.

I know a lot of Liverpool fans never wanted to see Bellamy leave Anfield when he did back in 2007 so should Roy Hodgson make a move for the 31-year old now?

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Manchester United could make a shock move for Giuseppe Rossi. The Villarreal forward wants to move to a bigger club and according to the English press he is open with a move back to his former club. When United sold Rossi in 2007, a first option clause was included in the deal if Rossi decides to leave. This means Alex Ferguson could sign him for a cut-back price.

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It seems absurd to say that it has not been a good year for Fernando Torres, as there is no greater moment in a footballer’s career those hoisting the World Cup. But it really hasn’t. Sure, he had moments of brilliance with Liverpool such as injury time game-winner vs. Aston Villa, but let’s all be honest, the real Fernando Torres has not been with us in months. Maybe it was a nagging injury or maybe it was Rafa’s rotation policy, but either way the Spanish striker now has supposedly decided that Liverpool isn’t the right place for him anymore, and there doesn’t seem to be anything Roy Hodgson can do about it.

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On July 6th 2010 lots of people on Twitter were discussing about Ricardo Carvalho making the switch between Chelsea and Inter. Many have been suggesting he was in Milano to pass medical tests. Ridiculous.

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According to Madrid based sports paper Marca, Real Madrid are highly interested in signing Liverpool’s Steven Gerrard. It is not the first time the Liverpool captain has been linked with a transfer to the Bernabeu and Mourinho tried to sign him during his Chelsea days. Liverpool, who are cash strapped, may have to sell their star asset. But the final decision would be his.

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The most ridiculous rumour of the day is Joe Ledley joining Serie A runners-up AS Roma. The Cardiff City midfielder is not the only one heading to Italy, Arsenal’s William Gallas could be joining him. The Championship player is expected to join a Premier league side over the coming weeks, but Roma are planning to pip any deals. A Welsh man playing in the Serie A? For AS Roma? Unbelievable!

Manchester United appear to be trailing Barcelona’s young and talented Bojan Krkic. The arrival of David Villa will have diminished Bojan’s of first team football at the Camp Nou. A £12m offer should be sufficient to lure the striker to Old Trafford. But do Manchester United need him? They already have Chicarito, Macheda, Owen, Berbatov, Diouf and Rooney. Plus, it would take Bojan years to learn English. This rumour is ridiculous.